The day has come that I am able to share my very own experience of a lovely, calm, blissful and magic home birth of baby boy Tervel. That is my second birth and I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart that I wish all women can experience this kind of freedom, peace, calm and love.
Baby decided to come a bit unexpected at 37 weeks, but just in time so I can still have my homebirth. I did not believe till the very last moment that I was in labour but I was indeed! Everything started at 4 am on the 12th of February. I had throughout the whole day irregular mild surges between 5 to 10/15 minutes apart. They were completely manageable and I just went on with my day as usual, not giving it much thought. I have a friend – Emily, who is a student midwife and who is also trained in Dreambirth Imagery and she was going to be my support and doula for this birth. What a great timing that she has messaged me in the morning to check how I was. I called her to let her know that this might be it so she said she is coming in 4 hours and if things stop, she will just go back. This made me so relaxed and calm as for me - Emily and the birthing pool were the two things I really needed for this birth. So, I went out shopping for some last bits. It was such a warm lovely sunny day and I was truly happy thinking how nicely everything is coming together. Emily was on holiday at that time which was great as she is working on shifts and we were not sure if she would make it when my labour starts. I also had my mum in law with me so there was someone to take care of my toddler and my partner can focus on me. The universe had already sorted everything out😊
Emily arrived and we spend the afternoon eating, chatting, setting up the pool. We dimmed the lights and did lots of imagery exercises to connect with the baby and see what his plans were. He was definitely coming and I had the feeling he was giving me a little bit more time to prepare, relax and adjust. My surges were still irregular and mild and I was rocking my hips on the birthing ball when I had them so it was all completely manageable. We had dinner and around 9 pm the whole family went to bed so we can get some sleep before the real deal starts. I had around 2 hours with almost no surges and after that out of the nothing, they started to be so intense that I could not lay any more. My partner was hugging me which made things better and oxytocin was flowing. I was jumping on the ball every time I had a surge then going back to bed, trying to get some more rest. This did not last long as the ball was not helping anymore. I went to wake up Emily as I really needed her to guide me through the surges. That is what she did and was all I needed. The surges were still irregular but very powerful. I have practiced Hyonobirthing and Dreambirth imagery through all my pregnancy so I was really prepared and equipped with all the exercises I needed to handle any discomfort/pain, to open up and help baby go down. With the help of Emily, I was amazed to notice the huge difference when I was using Imagery and when I was just breathing through the surges. Some surges were very short and mild and some were really intense and difficult to handle. When I focused and did the imagery and breathed…. the surges were shorter and milder.
We called the hospital to send the midwives but it turned out that there were no homebirth midwives that night due to sickness and the backup midwife was not picking up the phone. I said that I am definitely not leaving my home and that I had some more time so they can sort this out. We were not really bothered by this situation as we knew they will find a way to send someone. We really enjoyed being all alone, dim lights, relaxing music, the sound of the water, filling up the pool. We were dozing off between the surges which really did help to save some energy.
At some point, I felt something changed and now the surges felt differently. I started to have sensations in my sacrum so things were really speeding up. Now I really felt the need to go into the pool. As no one had checked me, we did not know how far I really was so we just relied on my intuition and followed my own instincts. The water felt like heaven. I was floating and did not have to think how to position myself. The surges were still irregular but extremely powerful. The sensations were all in my sacrum. Baby was moving down really quickly. I could feel him so well. Emily called again the midwives and went to wake up my partner. I lost track of time. I should have been in transition as I remember telling Emily that I do not want to do that ever again as the surges were now really hard work and I had to focus so hard to be able to relax. I was squeezing both Emily’s and my partner’s hands and looking them in the eyes. Midwives were on the way but baby could not wait. Just a few powerful surges and his head was out and with the next surge his whole body. I took him out in my arms and everything felt right! It was surreal. Just so right, perfect and whole. One of those rare moments, when you feel you are at the right place, in the right time…and it is all the way it should be…I did not push even once. My body and baby did all the work. I only breathed and relaxed as much as I could. My waters broke just before he was born. Emily was with me and my partner went to get the midwives who rang exactly when his head came out. Emily also called 999 when it became apparent that the midwives may not make it but this was of no use as well. It was all so quick…. baby was born at 4.20 am on the 13th of February. Around 5 hours of active labour and second stage of 20/30 min.
I would not say I cannot believe this as I totally can! I worked so much for this birth and I had no trace of fears or any doubt that things can happen differently. I had the right people next to me which made all the difference! Of course, If I was on my own, with just my partner, I would have pushed more the midwives to come on time but nothing happens by chance. I had this incredible opportunity to birth on my own, supported only by the people I wanted, the people I needed the most! I had no one check me or check the baby’s heartbeat. I had no interference whatsoever. My hormones were flowing undisturbed and my labour proceeded so smoothly and calmly, the way nature has intended. I knew every moment, without a doubt, that my baby was just fine!
Baby was so calm and did not cry at all. He latched on after 20 min while waiting for the placenta to come out. He is such a professional breast feeder, unlike his bigger brother who had initial problems getting on with breastfeeding. And now, almost one month and a half later, I can definitely say that he is such a calm baby and I feel so much more connected to him than with his brother. My first birth was natural but had 3 hours of pushing with synthetic oxytocin, continuous monitoring and injection for the placenta. And now I can really see what this has caused both to me and my son. This time I did not have any tears as well and I had all the time I needed for the placenta to come out. It felt so great to spend the morning on the sofa, cuddling my baby, having breakfast and enjoying family time! My first birth lasted almost 3 days as they have kept sending me home from the birthing unit due to not being dilated enough. I ended up being tired and stressed so that is why labour took so long. What a difference this time, when you know you are not in a rush to go anywhere and wait for no one to allow you this or that. Such a bliss!
I wish you all beautiful ladies, an even more incredible birth than mine, an experience that will give you strength and courage for the rest of your life, will inspire and empower you to be the best you can!
Dariya and baby Tervel xxx